Almost a month since I began this challenge and maybe I am a bit quieter, but I admit I’m no wiser than when I began. Sure, I’ve become more aware of my inner dialogue. And it has been a royal pain in the and is being extremely difficult to restrain. Try as I might, my internal dialogue continues the pressure until what I’m holding back comes spilling out as if my life depended on it.
It’s like it has a mind of it’s own, and henceforth shall be known as Madame Biaz. I debated on if I should name it, lest someone think I've flipped my lid. But she hungers to be heard even if others may not appreciate nor want her wisdom. Her, wisdom what nonsense! Describing my inner dialogue as wisdom is just another way of validating what I want to say and making me “right”.
However, I can't help it because I’ve been cursed with being too clever for my own good, and as such, I have a responsibility to help mankind. Don't I? This brings me to my problem. In this challenge am I to silence Madame Biaz knowing what she knows? She is after all pretty smart. That is a rhetorical question; indeed I shall silence her and her opinions. …Unless someone asked for it, then I would be obligated to respond.
How smart? Thanks for asking. It is because I can see the whole picture, and therefore can follow an action’s trajectory and know how it is going to conclude. Moreover, I am able to quickly identify the variables in play and which ones will be chosen and the consequence of that action. Before taking this challenge I thought this personality trait was a positive attribution. But now I’m not so certain. It is better known as being opinionated, bossy, and yes, biased.
On a positive note, I’ve noticed that I am really listening to people. I mean really being present. And in spite of Madame Biaz, I am learning more often than not, to stop myself before uttering my opinions.
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